Aishes Chayil

Behind every frum man, is the woman who keeps him that way...

I find myself trying to formulate semi-intelligent posts ad the oddest times. The shower seems to works great on the literary mind. Problem is, by the time I dry off & get a chance to actually post, my mental masterpiece is gone.

Last night my wife was in the room with me as I surfed some of the blogs that I keep track of and I tried to explain to her the vast underworld of blogging and how fascinating it can be. At the time I happened to be catching up on “A Hassid & A Heretic”- a blog I enjoy reading. It is by a chassidishe guy who lives in Williamsburg with his wife and children and while his community looks up to him as an erliche yid and a talmid chacham (I think he even gives some local shiurim), he believes in none of it. He’s a fascinating read and maybe one day I’ll actually post or write him.

His current post summarizes the people he has discovered in the blogging world coping with similar issues:

“We can divide them in a few categories.

1. The ones who believe in god yet don’t believe in everything that they were taught. They won’t eat meat and milk together not even cold but won’t wait the six hours required by the Halacha. These people would just change the rules a little to be more consistent with the original Judaism. If only they stood a chance.

2. People who fully believe, yet like to sin. Those people would refrain from doing their usual amount of sins from Elul (before the high holy days) until after Sukkos, or at times when their guilty feelings creep up on them like guilt tends to do so often. Personally I don’t understand how people who believe in Schar Ve’oinesh (award and punishment) could bring themselves to sin so gravely while believing that they will regret it.

3. Non-believers. They don’t believe, don’t follow the commands and don’t care much about the religion altogether. Those can be subdivided into two categories too. A) People like me who are still Chassidim on the outside for what ever reason. B) People who have severed all ties to Orthodox Judaism.”

My wife then asked me which category I thought I fell in.

Generally, my wife thinks that I’m on the verge of apikorsis. This is because while she is content with observing and following without needing to understand, I am always making sarcastic comments. We both believe, but which is better? Now don’t get me wrong. I believe Yiddishkeit is authentic. I think that if Ezra or one of the tannaim came to NY in the year 2005 and walked into a shteeble, they’d walk out scratching their heads. But hey, it’s what’s kept the Jewish people unique and true to God for a long time now so who am I to argue? It’s the small stuff that bugs me. Sometimes my kids come home from school with the wildest stories that I could swear the rebbe made up. That’s fine for chinuch, but the kids grow up with these stories being what’s important and not what the point originally was.

I think women are generally more faithful to God than us men. They just feel it in their hearts while the men need to work on it and search for God. Aishes Chayil Mi Yimtzah?

So back to the question. Which do I think I fall in? I would say maybe #1, but #1 is a little vague and can include so many people. Also, I don’t think I’d chuck observances as freely as #1 calls for. The area’s I fall short in are more due to my laziness than anything else.

She then asked me if I have a blog. I lied and said no. That sucks but if I’m going to write anything, she can’t know about this. Like I said, trusting.